I try to stay positive about cars - apparently being happy about your line of work is good for your mental health - but I have to concede that there are times when, perhaps, maybe, sorta, occasionally, it can be excruciating to continue wanting anything to do with any of this cursed nonsense.
The car review:
For anyone who reads car reviews the way I read recipes, skipping all the paid-by-the-word conjecture and looking for the hard data, I’ll give you this: the 2026 Volkswagen Jetta GLI is unchanged this year, following a facelift last year. It remains an effective, and exceedingly practical performance sedan, with the proven EA888 engine, brilliant suspension and brakes, and very clever active front differential that makes understeering almost impossible.
The Volkswagen Jetta is one of the very best compact sedans around, and it follows that the Jetta GLI is among the very best sport compacts you buy. The amount of car, the list of features, the calibre of performance and enjoyment of the driving experience is unreal at this price point. The fact that it still offers a manual gearbox makes it an all-the-more-special standout of a car. There’s your car review. Now, back to my wanton editorializing…
Crisis of faith
A cynical view might see that all cars are the same, chasing each other around, trying to stay in front of fickle consumer trends, all making the same focus grouped, committee designed, government approved, shareholder pleasing, mass produced transportation products, all playing the same game of hiding cost-cutting behind screens and cheap insulation to feel fancier than they are.
It hardly matters, all these damn things are ever going to do anyway are stop at red lights, missing advance green signals because someone is on their phone, all in a hurry to get to a highway that isn’t moving because someone else was on their phone at the wrongest time. It's not probably not a good sign that my favourite thing about most of my press cars is adaptive cruise control; so the car can mindlessly stop and go in traffic on my behalf.
It can be difficult to continue caring. A lot of the time I feel like I barely like cars at all, and I’m pretty sure I actually stopped enjoying driving altogether some time ago. I - like many of you, who identify as car guys - needed a long time to come around to that realization, but outside of reaffirming your identity as a car guy to yourself, what, if anything, are you actually enjoying about what you’re doing?
Maybe you’ve been fortunate enough to buy that Porsche that countless short videos told you to want, but does that Porsche’s performance providence matter if we’re all sitting in the same traffic watching the same short videos on our same phones?
What are you driving at?
I don’t go for drives anymore. It doesn’t make sense to burn fuel, to literally light money on fire, unless I need to get somewhere or get some photos. The few times I’ve tried going out for a drive, I haven’t enjoyed it, because I got stuck in traffic, or got annoyed at someone on their phone, or scared myself half to death because I’m worried that a cop saw me on my phone. And pretty much everything feels the same anyway.
That hit of dopamine and resulting wave of satisfaction, that reaffirmation that I’m doing me and I’m okay, is not there. There is no joy in a Point A to Point A jaunt anymore, and I don’t care to fabricate an excuse to visit an arbitrary Point B to justify the journey.
Where does the GLI fit into this?
All this to say: the 2026 Volkswagen Jetta GLI got me out of the house every night. It started with an email from me to VW saying there may be an issue with this car, as the brakes pulsated under braking. I was told that the car sat for about a month before I picked it up, there may be some buildup on the brakes; a couple good hard stops should clear them up (I can confirm all of this is quite normal from my experience on the repair side of the auto business; not a failing on VW’s part).
I could have waited until my commute the next day, as that would have made more sense, but I went out that night instead. I liked the car. I had an external excuse to go drive it. I was in a horrible mood, and then… I was in a good mood. From driving a car. I suppose it helped that the procedure worked and it meant I got to keep the car, and keep our publishing schedule intact. But I kept going even after my little problem was solved. I kept finding reasons to go back out all week.
“Oh no, don’t waste your money waiting an hour for a cold burger from Ubereats, just tell me what you were gonna order and I’ll go get it.”
“Sure, let’s go get that orange wine that only the LCBO across town has.”
“You know, I saw a short video on my phone about dipping chicken nuggets in soft serve; I’m gonna go to Wendy’s and see if it’s any good.”
The excuses got flimsier as the week went on, but it didn’t matter. I kept going out.
Don't have to try to Justify the GLI
Sure it helps that the Jetta GLI needs to light remarkably little money on fire to run. I used an average of 7.4L/100km that week, which is better than my far smaller, less powerful Miata - and I could have done better still, maybe even into hybrid-level frugality if I wasn’t enjoying myself so much.
It also demands relatively little money to get into; our tester rings in at $35,895, with the only option being this stealthy Alpine Grey paint for $500. The average new car transaction price in this country is well over fifty grand now, and yet the VW GLI keeps delivering legitimate performance hardware and a practical package with a ton of features (like ventilated seats!) for peanuts.
Not pretending, not pretentious
Nice cars are nice, but there’s a connotation that comes with luxury cars that can be uncomfortable at times, and the influencer-ification of sports cars is even worse. This unassuming GLI hits both of those marks with its creature comforts and athleticism, but sidesteps both problems. I’d hate to deny success, but I selfishly hope the phone crowd doesn’t catch on to this one like they have with BMWs and/or B58 engines.
They probably won’t, because this is one of the few cars left on the market with a manual gearbox, and while the phone crowd touts reverence for the sacred do-it-yourself transmission, they can’t actually, you know, operate them. But I can, and it brings me some rare satisfaction that’s hard to find at any price these days, and all at a price that helps it all make sense and feel honest.
Wrap it up
To say something “has soul” or “just feels right, ya kno” is valid, maybe, but it's increasingly used as an arbitrary shifting goalpost to justify why your taste-code is better than someone else’s. The GLI’s exciting undertone and DIY shifting experience appeals to emotion amicably, but it also capitulates to cold rationale just as well. Along with the proverbial heart, it incorporates the very real head, unifying both to hit an honest homer.
There are faster cars, fancier cars, flashier cars, friskier cars, but this 2026 Volkswagen Jetta GLI does it all well, and does so affordably. It cut through the bull and made all this car nonsense that I’ve been struggling with make sense to me. I don’t know that I love it, because I’m not sure what that means anymore, but I know that I like it a lot, and it’s not hard to justify why. It was a treat to be around a car that didn't make me feel awkward about being a "car guy," while reminding me that cars like this are why I am, for better or worse, a car guy.
